


Requiescat In Pace

by Ariane_Rivendell



Category: West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariane_Rivendell/pseuds/Ariane_Rivendell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jed Bartlet's diatribe to God on the death of Mrs. Landingham in "18th and Potomac".  Strong language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Requiescat In Pace

**Author's Note:**

> I believe the correct phrase is supposed to be 'In Pace Requiescat', but for the purposes of the story, 'requiescat in pace' seemed to "flow" better...
> 
> Originally written in 2001.

You cannot conceive my love for you.

You cannot perceive my grief for you.

The weight of it presses down upon me like a storm.

Like the storm raging outside...within my heart.

I yelled at God in your name.

I raged.

I cried.

I have thrown my anger upon the skulking dastard that is our Lord God that surely my soul be Damned to a hell the likes of which Pilate himself would not know.

Frankly, I don’t give a damn. To hell with that Vindictive Milksop...

For I can neither breathe nor hear the whine of the wind.

I can neither stand nor taste the sweet wine of joy.

For I cannot take in the sight of you.

I cannot...

For like you I have been blindsided, my life ripped from me and tossed into the wind; I am blown to the Four Corners of the earth. Unrooted. Unbound. Lost, I walk the Halls of Lament, dolorous and desolate. 

Dolores...  
...

Must they pay the price?

Are You such a guileless wonder that others be made to pay for my sins? 

You waved Josh in front of me like a semi-loaded pistol. Was that Your plan? Play Russian Roulette? ‘I’ll try them all; see which one falls first to My Whim’?

If it’s me You want than TAKE me. Do with ME what You will, but by all that’s Holy, don’t mess with my family.

Don’t mess with my family, you son of a bitch... 

_“...Mrs. Landingham!”_

Whatever happened to the Mercy that is Our Lord God?

Whatever happened to Your Love? 

She never knew and I owed her that much...

She never knew... Was that Your Mercy on her? That she not know? That she be spared the pain of my life? Bullshit. What did You expect, that she’d feel sorry for me? By god, she’s lost two sons, what could this be to her? You know damned well she’d tell me to get off my ass and do something about it. She’s a strong woman, stronger than I could ever hope of becoming. 

But why didn’t You make her stronger? Invincible? Why...?

Now she belongs to You and I can do nothing to change that.

But You can do something for me, if You won't let me have her near.

Hold her in the palm of Your Hand and close to Your Heart...

Hold her to You as I have done. As I can do no longer.  
...

You cannot conceive my love for you.

You cannot perceive the depth of my grief.

But now I stand in the face of the storm.

 _Requiescat in Pace,_ my friend.

And I move on with your spirit, reborn.


End file.
